sometimes...

Sometimes you feel as if you had entered a world of shit. I sometimes did, newertheles I crawled out of it, often into some fantastic springlike existence full of wonderful friendship and smile.
Recently I got to know an extraordinarily wonderful, beautiful, mean;), maybe out-of-this-world person that feels as a part of me (incomprehensible?). I promissed some thousands of triliards of billions of kisses to a special woman, who chairs a throne in my heart, I lost a bowling game to Maciek (but he is my family, and you love your family, so you are happy when a member of your family wins:) ), I will force a return match though; I failed, and I succeded. However, one thing lacks... and it sometimes aches... and drains the optimism out of me(hardly possible?)... and it feels as if I was predestined to lack it... created to be lonely but not alone. Please, let it be that I speak not the truth.
Some other times I ask myself why the hell have I become such a sick optimist... and will this end?